the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
