We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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