I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
