How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
