I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
