We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
