My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
