if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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