I just made out with a guy for $7.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
