i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
