Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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