So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
