saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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