is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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