First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
It's blow job season.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
