ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
