I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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