Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I think i got beer on your cat.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
