I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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