Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
