I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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