If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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