OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
