I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
