I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
