weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize