The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
