You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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