Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
