I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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