Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
