Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
