U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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