He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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