i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
She's JV to your varsity
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize