I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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