I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
