I cockslap morals
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Randomize
