I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
