he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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