I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
