so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
