After last night, I could never be a politician.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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