I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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