I love black thongs
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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