I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My brain says no but my pants say off.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize