farters have to be the big spoon...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize