Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
