I accidentally had phone sex last night
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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