Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
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