Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
