I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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