Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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