As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
