You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Thank you for not boning my boss.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
