Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize