I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
