Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
