he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I will pee on everything he values.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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