i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
