Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
