We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
