my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
