Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize