So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize